CHAPTER VII

AN amber sky, sprayed with rainbow tints and mottled with pale translucent gold. Sunset in all its glory. Tessa stood on the roof terrace and watched the swiftly moving disc drop below the sea. A hush layover everything, for even the breeze was silent as it came down from the mountains carrying the balmy fragrance of the pines to mingle with the exotic perfumes of the garden. A movement below caught Tessa's attention; Paul among the flowers, absorbing their beauty by touch and smell. And as she watched, with a brooding pensive gaze, she saw him pick a rose and put it to his face .. For a long while he stood there, oblivious of his wife's watchful eyes, with the rose held so that the perfume filled his nostrils. And then a tender smile transformed Tessa's face as Paul put the short stem in his mouth and continued his perambulation of the garden. A typical action of the Greek male to pick a flower and hold it in his mouth. They all loved everything with a perfume, and Tessa thought there was something enchantingly naive in the vision of a large masculine figure carrying a flower about with him in this way, With Paul it was so out of character, so incompatible with the cruel and ruthless streak that was essentially a part of his make up.

'He's a strange man, that husband of yours.' The Whisper at her side brought Tessa's head round and she smiled. 'I intended joining him down there, but I sensed he'd consider it an intrusion.'

'He often walks in the garden at this time,' she said in softly murmured tones. 'The flower scents seem stronger when the air is cool and fresh.'

'He likes to be alone like this?' Joe's eyes were on the man below.

She nodded,

'I never intrude on his privacy, either. Like you, I feel he wouldn't welcome company.' Her voice held a pensive note and an involuntary sigh left her lips. ,

'Don't be too hurt about that, Tessa,' he said in tones of comfort. 'There's this aloneness with many blind people, They want to get away, completely, from every other human, being.' Tessa merely nodded her agreement and Joe went on, 'I have the most curious sort of feeling about Paul, Tessa, and I don't know how to explain it to you.'

'A curious feeling?' Her eyes were on her husband. He stood by the oleander bushes, taking in their sweet and heady perfume. Yes, she thought, he was sensitive to seclusion; it was imperative that he have these moments of absolute peace and isolation.

'I have the conviction that he's fighting something, that great turmoil rages within him.'

She turned her head, moving it to one side in a gesture of interrogation. 'What a strange thing to say, Joe. What sort of turmoil? And what can he be fighting?'

A long hesitation, and then, 'Have you ever thought, Tessa, that he might be losing his hatred for Lucinda? Your loving care, your patience and the charming way you have with him it would be most surprising if all this didn't have some sort of effect on him.'

'No, oh  no, you're quite wrong,' she began, when Joe interrupted her.

'Should that be the case, and he was falling in love with Lucinda all over again it would account for the impression I have that some inner conflict is taking place within Paul. He'd so despise himself that he'd naturally fight against it.'

Tessa shook her head,

'He still hates Lucinda.' she said flatly. 'There's no doubt at all about it, Joe, It will take Paul a long, long while to forgive what Lucinda did to him.'

Joe shrugged, but frown lines darkened his brow, 'There are moments, Tessa, when he's so well, loving towards you.'

'Merely this act we're putting on for your 'benefit,' she told him sadly. 'Sometimes when we're alone he's like that too, but it's only to let me have a taste of what I've missed, He said he'd do this, just to torture me.'     '

'It's  fiendish.' Joe said, as if he could scarcely believe Paul capable of such calculated cruelty. 'I know Lucinda deserves it all, and I wouldn't blame him for this revenge but it's still difficult to believe Paul has this barbaric streak in him.'

'Seeing him back home in England you wouldn't think it, I agree. I would never have believed him capable of such violent passions.' She mused again on what Joe had just said about the possibility of Paul's falling in love with Lucinda through the tender care and attention of Tessa. But she shook her head, reasserting that Paul's hatred for Lucinda remained as strong as ever.

'You should know, of course,' he conceded. 'All the same, I sense this conflict most strongly. But perhaps it's something else I don't know.' He changed the subject. 'Only another week and then back to the weary grind. I wish I could stay longer, but perhaps I'll manage another visit at Christmas.'

'I hope so.' The amber sky was merging into the blue mist of twilight which sprinkled the mountainsides and gradually cast them into shadow. Soon would come the silent world of moonlight and a sense of peace would enter Tessa's heart. Each evening she had this brief interlude of repose when all her pain was shed and a strange feeling of optimism entered into her. It was as if nature itself were on her side, equipping her with renewed strength, enabling' her to face another day of strain and hurt.

'What a position Paul chose;' Joe turned a full circle to take in the views all around. 'It's wonderful'

'Wonderful ... and he can't see it ... .' Sadly she looked down again and then her eyes dilated and her whole body became rigid. 'Joe!' she gasped. 'A a snake—' The use returned instantly to her legs and she shot away, making for the steps with a speed born of fear. She stumbled and would have gone hurtling from the roof to the ground, but by some miracle she managed to grab the handrail just in time. Two at a time she took the steps ... two flights ... would they never end? She daren't call out to Paul, for he would not know what to do and he might be afraid, she thought.

The scaly, deadly thing was so still, watching, and then it slithered along the ground, getting nearer and nearer to Paul, who was standing there, the rose between his teeth, tranquilly enjoying the tang of clear scented air in his nostrils.

A terrible fear clutching at her heart, Tessa at last reamed the ground. Stealthily she picked up a large piece of stone from the rockery and, creeping close so as not to miss her aim, she hurled it with all her strength at the snake just as it was about to strike. '·What!' Paul swung round; his stick caught Tessa's ankle and an involuntary cry left her lips. 'What are you doing here creeping about!' Paul's harsh voice was lost on her, for the snake  was coiling and writhing, having been hit only on its body. It stopped and to Tessa's terrified imagination it appeared to be looking up at Paul with a black venom.

'It's all right, I'll deal with it.' Joe's voice. Tessa almost collapsed with relief as, picking up the piece of rock, Joe went for the snake's head. She didn't wait to see, but took her husband's arm and led him towards the house. He did not resist or protest, or even utter a word. Once in the sitting room he gave the rose to Tessa, telling her to put it in water. As she took it from him he felt the trembling of her hand, but still made no comment on what had occurred.

'The couch is right behind you,' she faltered. 'Can I get you a drink?'

The strange silence that had come over him was broken then.

'Yes ... but get yourself one too. Have a brandy.'

Tessa brought the tray and several bottles. Joe came in and nodded. The snake was dead.

'Still writhing.' he whispered, 'but quite harmless now.'

Thank God, But there were others; she would never again let Paul go into the garden alone.

'Perhaps.' said Paul quietly from the couch, 'someone will tell me what's been happening?'

Joe opened his mouth, but Tessa urgently shook her head.

'It was nothing, darling. The shadows I thought saw a snake .. .' She tailed off.  Joe's brow was raised as if to inform her of the futility of evasion. What would she invent as a substitute for the truth- he seemed to be saying. 'It was a snake, Paul,' she said with affected lightness. 'But only a tiny thing. I'm afraid I lost my head—' She gave a rather cracked little laugh. 'I don't know what came over me; I don't usually panic for nothing.'

'For nothing ... .' Paul's face was a study as, taking the glass which Joe placed to his hand, he raised it to his lips. A vein in his temple throbbed and there was even a movement at the side of his mouth, as if a muscle were rapidly twitching there. 'I heard you say you'd deal with this snake, Joe. How big was it?'

'Not very—'

'About three feet long.' interrupted Joe. 'And a nasty looking brute it was too. Lucinda had already had a go at it before I managed to come down from the roof. I merely finished it off, so to speak.'

Horrified, Tessa stared angrily at Joe. How could he let her down like this? What possible good could he do by telling Paul the truth? It would make him nervous of going out to the garden alone. And although Tessa vowed to be always somewhere at hand, she had meant her husband to believe he was alone. It was cruel to deny him the pleasure which this hour of solitude afforded him.

'Three feet .. .' Paul murmured softly, and took another drink. 'And, Lucinda had already dealt with it, you say?'

'No, Paul, I I just threw a stone at it just to' scare it away.'

'How close' were you when you threw the stone?' he asked curiously.

'She was very close, Paul. The snake was about to strike and Lucinda had to get close' so as not to miss her aim.' A fleeting pause and then, in soft but faintly accented tones, 'I reckon it was damned plucky of Lucinda, because the snake could have turned its attention to her instead.'

She frowned and tried to catch Joe's eye. What was he trying to do?

'It wouldn't have struck at all,' she argued lightly. 'Paul, darling; can I refill your glass?'

'Yes, please.'

No more was said about the snake and later they all went for a meal to one of the many seaside restaurants. They had a table outside, under a star sprinkled sky which reflected itself in the velvet sea below. One or two people were swimming and Tessa told Paul about this.

'They're having a marvellous time, Paul. We've never swum in the dark ... ' She tailed off, biting her lip. How could she have spoken like that, without thinking? Paul smiled for Joe's benefit, she thought, wondering what harsh comment would have been forthcoming had they been alone.

"We must do it, then, my dear. Perhaps we'll manage it before Joe leaves us?'

'I'd thoroughly enjoy that,' returned Joe enthusiastically, watching the swimmers far down below. 'Imagine being able to swim in the sea at nine o'clock at night at the beginning of May!'

"It's possible to swim all the year round in Cypus,' Paul informed him, although he added, his smile deepening, 'The tourists swim all the year round, but I'm told the Cypriots themselves wait until it's warmer.'

'Yes, I suppose they'll feel that the water is cool at this time of the year,' put in Tessa musingly. As she had said, the swimmers were thoroughly enjoying themselves and she would have loved to be down there with them.

Their meal was brought a whole huge fish, brown and crisp and freshly caught. Fried potatoes and vegetables were placed around it and the usual salads were brought in on other dishes. With the whole loaf, the butter and wine, the table was loaded. Bouzouki music, played by a band of four laughing musicians, echoed through the hillsides and out across the sea. There was a display of folk dancing and then some of the diners joined in, It was a scene of gaiety and abandon so typical of the East, conducted under a trellised roof of vines with the dark silhouette of pine clothed mountains on one side and the placid waters of the Mediterranean on the other. Tessa had on only a sleeveless dress. Paul was immaculate in a light grey linen suit. People stared at him, then commented to each other. This always happened and invariably tended to put a damper on Tessa's pleasure at coming out like this.

'Why don't you and Joe dance?' Paul suggested when, the meal over, the table had been cleared of all but wine and nuts. 'Take her, Joe;'

Something in his voice and his manner caused both Joe and Tessa to look swiftly at him. There seemed to have come over him some slight change which as yet was almost indefinable, but in addition there was some enigmatical quality about him that reminded Tessa of the rather odd sort of interest he had taken in the letter she had written to her father, his comments about which had caused her some trepidation for two days, before, realizing his interest had waned, Tessa could once more breathe freely.

'A good idea.' Joe stood up. 'Come on, Lucinda, and show me what to do.'

'I don't know myself,' she told him with some anxiety as she eyed the others dancing on the tiled floor space round which the tables were ranged. 'But I expect we can do something.'

It was exhilarating, and Tessa enjoyed it, but she uttered a tiny sigh for all that, and her eyes invariably returned to Paul, sitting there alone, his face towards the sea.

'How did you go on?' He twisted round in his chair as they sat down again at their table. 'Can you do the dance my dear?'

Why the hesitation? she wondered, for it had been very obvious.

'It was fun, Paul,' she answered breathlessly. 'Everyone's so gay and laughing. They just throw themselves into ·everything.'

'Yes; I'm afraid that in the West you have so many inhibitions that you don't really get the best out of life.'

'You could be right, Paul;' conceded Joe. 'But we have other compensations.'

'Indeed yes, I couldn't agree more. It's difficult to assess these compensations, and to compare them.' 'The difference is that the people here are not concerned with money.'

'Not  ?' Paul lifted his brows in surprise. 'Where did you get that idea, Joe?'

He shrugged.

'They just go leisurely about their work, collecting a bit of firewood here and there, and taking their goats and sheep up into the hills. They're so satisfied.' He paused and studied Paul's expression. 'You don't agree with me?'

'People the world over are concerned with money.

Here and especially in this particular region the  farmer has the initial work of setting out his lemon groves, but after that he has nothing to do but water the trees.' He can then just sit back and spend his days in the catenation playing trik trak or cards, reaping from his lemons a couple of thousand or so per year.'

'As much as that?' exclaimed Tessa, staring in astonishment. These farmers always seemed so poor.

'Certainly as much as that. Lemons might be lying around all over the ground here, but look at the price of them back home.'

'Back home?' Joe seized on that, forgetting about the lemons. 'You still consider England as back home?'

'Oddly enough, yes.' he murmured reflectively, and Tessa would have given anything to know where his thoughts lay. Perhaps he was dwelling nostalgically on the wonderful times he had spent there with Lucinda  when they were both so in love and their future lay spread out before them like an idyllic panorama of heaven itself. This was before Paul's love had turned to a hatred so powerful and all enveloping that it had brought out some latent evil and even twisted his handsome features into the black satanic lines which Tessa knew so well. 'I think it's time we made a move,' Paul said some time later, and after shaking hands with the proprietor of the restaurant, they made their way to the car park.

Joe had returned the hired car, for he had no need of it, and Tessa drove Paul's car back the way they had come, back along the quiet coast road, travelling east, towards Kyrenia. As usual, she had placed a scented flower on the shelf at her husband's side, and he now felt for the carnation and picked it up. He fingered it almost tenderly, and every now and then he wafted it before his face. There was a strange simplicity about his every movement, and he was far away, alone with the lovely thing he held in his hand. It was only aesthetic qualities with which he was concerned. Did this result from his blindness? Tessa wondered, her attention divided between the road ahead and the man at her side. She would never know, and she did not want to do so, for she would have found it oddly hurtful to discover that her husband was possessed of mercenary qualities.

Eventually she turned off the main road and, cutting out the centre of the town, she took the Bellapais road, driving through the olives and carobs, through the lemon groves until, ahead, dominating the village square, rose the magnificent weathered arches of the Abbey. Then Tessa took the road up into the hills and the lights of the village twinkled up at them, looking rather like the reflection of the stars above. Takis had left on all the lights on the front terrace and when the lovely white villa eventually came into view it looked like some fairy palace nestling on its plateau amid the pine clad slopes falling away all around it.

'I'm going to bed.' Immediately they entered the house Paul spoke. 'It's very late.' Absently he fingered the face of his watch. 'Good night, Joe. Good night, my dear.'

'Good night, Paul.' She let him go, then with a nod of apology to Joe she followed him. A short while later she returned. 'His head; she faltered, her face white and rather drawn. 'He's holding it. These pains terrify me. What what explanation c can there be for them?'

'Now, now, steady on, Tessa Just like a woman to dwell on something like a brain tumour. You've quite enough on your mind without an added anxiety like that.'

'But why should he have them? They're very bad, I can tell, even though he doesn't say much about them.'

He appeared not to be listening; a thoughtful frown lay across his brow and his eyes flickered oddly.

'Those dark glasses he wears? Has he always worn them!'

Tessa shook her head. 'It's only recently. I was so surprised when he said he wanted to buy some. He wore them only occasionally at first, but now he seems most uncomfortable without them .... Joe,' she quivered, noting his expression, 'do you think the headaches are something to do with his eyes!'

He looked straight at her, and asked a question of his own.

'If they are, you realize what it means?' She looked bewildered.

'No ... no, I don't.' The French window was thrown wide open and Joe's attention now appeared to be on the night sounds coming from far down the hill slopes, sounds of crickets and frogs and the bray of a donkey tethered to a tree by the roadside.

'Why should he suddenly ask for glasses, when he's been without them for so long?' he murmured at length. 'I do believe these headaches are something to do with his eyes.' He brought his attention back to Tessa. 'Have you ever suspected that he can see?'

'See ... I' Tessa trembled all over. 'No, no, he definitely can't see oh, I'm absolutely sure of it!'

'Perhaps I shouldn't have put it quite like that. But don't you realize, Tessa, that the light must be bothering him ... and if the light's bothering him ... .' The rest was left unsaid, but the inference was clear. Tessa's trembling increased; she was in the grip of a fear even greater than her fear of the future. If Paul should ever see ....

'The doctors in England; she stammered. 'They all said' his case was hopeless. I know he'll never see again.'

In through the window flew a giant moth, to flutter round the centre light and cast darting shadows on to the walls and floor.

'They could have been mistaken; it often happens.'

His case was odd, to say the least. As I told you, he wasn't blind when he picked himself up and tackled those flames. His blindness resulted from the shock of believing Lucinda was burning to death in the car.'

Too stunned to speak, Tessa just sat there, shaken by the revelation that she was taking all Joe said most seriously. She herself had wondered about Paul's asking for glasses; she had noticed him shading his eyes, had wondered at the chemist's expression as Paul talked to him of these headaches. And the medicine ... it had helped a little, Paul said, but now Tessa felt certain it had not helped at all. White, and still trembling violently, she looked across at Joe, her face stricken.  'If his sight should ever be restored, then it's the end for me. I've I've fought and hoped and prayed all for nothing.'

Joe shifted uneasily. 'You'd better have a drink a strong one.' He got up and poured her a brandy from the bottle on the sideboard. 'Think I need one; as well. Of course,' he added, 'I could be all wrong probably am, but it's worth looking into   '

'No,' she interrupted frantically. 'No! I won't lose him!'

Joe turned, the soda syphon in his hand. . 'You'd deny him the chance of seeing again?' 'Yes no—' She shook her head, scarcely able to think. 'I can't lose him,' she cried in sudden anguish. 'I can't!'

'What makes you so sure you'll lose him? You are married, remember.'

'Of course I'll lose him. It's Lucinda he's married  so he can get a divorce without any trouble at all.' Ignoring her statement about divorce, Joe reminded Tessa that Paul hated Lucinda.

'That's no reason why he should love me.'

'I'll grant you that, but you've been damned good to Paul, Tessa, and he should appreciate it.'

'He'll never love me—At home, he disliked me intensely, said I was running after him. What would he think should he ever know I used his blindness to get him for myself? He'd consider it the most reprehensible act, and he'd be right.' A haunted, desperate look came into her eyes. 'I don't want him to have his sight restored, because don't you see, he'd be more angry and bitter than ever at finding himself bound to me a girl he despised so, a a girl he s said was ugly—'  ,

'He never said that!' put in Joe sharply. 'He wouldn't.'

'He said my eyes were the only things I had, you remember that.' The tears were released and for a while Joe let her weep, but when the sobs really began to rack her body he left his chair and put his arms around her.

'Look, all this is unnecessary, because we haven't any proof that Paul will ever see again. For the present let's forget it. Once I'm home I'll make some inquiries—I know someone who's acquainted with an ophthalmic specialist—'

'No!' she cried hysterically. 'I'm not having any interference in our lives. I've told you, I don't want Paul" to see not ever!'   '

Joe moved and sat down again and a silence fell on the room. At last Tessa took her handkerchief away from her eyes and looked across at her companion. 'Paul's my friend, Tessa,' he said quietly. 'I must make some inquiries about this man. With both treatment and operations he's been doing miraculous things. And I seem to remember—Now, wait a moment. Yes ... there was a case very similar to Paul's. A woman lost her daughter in an accident and the shock caused her to go blind and I do believe that in her case an operation wasn't necessary'; she responded to treatment. It could be the same with Paul, who knows?' Tessa mentioned the treatment Paul had after the accident, but Joe passed that off as he said firmly, 'It's my duty to' help Paul if I can.'

'He's my husband  The decision is mine!'

'Drink your brandy,' he said soothingly. 'You don't know what you're saying. When you've had time to think this over and consider how a successful operation, or perhaps treatment, would affect your husband, you'll change your mind. It's his life, Tessa, and he must be given the opportunity to live it to the full.'

'I won't help in any way to arrange a consultation.' she said determinedly, although in quieter, more controlled accents. 'You needn't take the trouble to seek out this man, because I shall never take Paul to see him.'    .

'You'd condemn your husband to a lifetime of darkness?'

'Yes! It's for his own good—'

'Tessa, for heaven's sake! How can blindness be for anyone's good?'

'You've just said we've no proof that he'll ever see again,' she parried desperately. 'It would be cruel to take him to this man and raise his hopes. No, I won't have him hurt.' That satisfied her, but only for a moment. A terrible weight was slowly building up within her, a weight she felt instinctively  could reduce her to even greater misery and despair than that to which Paul himself was condemning her.

'True, we've no proof. True, Paul's hopes will be raised; and might just as quickly be dashed. Neverthcless, we have to give him a chance. It's our duty, Tessa.'

'My first duty is to protect my husband from hurt,' she told him evasively. 'I'm not willing that he should have his hopes raised and then dashed 'again. He's had treatment and it failed. I'm convinced it would fail again.'

'Tessa,' said Joe, rising and taking her glass from her trembling hand, 'let's go to bed. No one thinks clearly at this time of the night.' He put the glass on the tray. 'Off you go and try to sleep.'

But she sat there far into the night, gazing out on to the distant sea; and the first rosy glow of dawn had touched the sky when at last she went to bed. Paul was in the other room, to which she had followed him earlier. She peeped in. Through the shadowed light escaping from the shutters she observed that he slept. But he appeared restless, for his breathing was heavy and uneven.

Silently she left, her heart and mind in turmoil Was it possible that he would ever see again? 'She had heard that rest and special treatment  or even another shock could prove effective in restoring loss of eyesight resulting from shock. And as Joe said, the doctors could have been wrong .... 'I won't let him know,' she whispered, looking in the mirror and seeing only the snub little nose and the high cheekbones that nature had not moulded so finely as her sister's. She did not see the lovely eyes, nor the tenderness and compassion reflected there; she did not notice the sweet and beautiful curve of her lips, or stop for a moment to think they could be as desirable as Lucinda's. 'No, I'll never let this specialist even look at him. I'm not losing my husband I'm not!' But she tossed and turned, rose from the bed and lay down again, her mind in complete disorder as her conscience fought with her heart. 'He's mine ... why should I run the risk of losing him? And why did Joe have to come here, upsetting our lives? He should mind his own business Duty he was not even a relative merely a friend. What right had he to talk about duty? 'It's I, Paul's wife, who shall make the decision.' Yes, only she had the right to decide. The right to decide. Tessa paced the room, then turned as Paul came in. He was in pyjamas and dressing gown, with his black hair falling in attractive disorder on to his forehead.

'You're very restless,' he said, coming towards her with the aid of his stick. 'I've heard you moving about for the past hour or so. Are you feeling ill?'

'No, it's just that I can't sleep. Perhaps it's the wine. You know it doesn't agree with me.'

'Come here.' She obeyed and his arms encircled her.

Where was the primitive embrace to which he invariably subjected her? Why weren't his fingers cruelly eating into her waist?

'The wine, is it?' He kissed her ... and she knew. 'You're playing with me again.' She raised her lovely eyes and looked into his face. 'I beg of you don't. Not just now.'

'Why not now?' Curt and cold his voice, but touched with an odd inflection. 'I'll play with you just whenever I like.'

She sagged with resignation, and yet spoke to him pleadingly.

'I'm very tired, Paul.'    .

He touched her neck and then her chin. His fingers moved lightly over her face, tracing a line from her brow to. her mouth. His own mouth was tight, with a hint of grey at the corners. He touched her nose, that snub little nose that was so unlike Lucinda's. Tessa held her breath. Paul had done this many times before, but in a perfunctory sort of way. as if without interest. But now he seemed most intent on what he did. At last he uttered a deep sigh which told her nothing. His mouth remained set and there was about him a harshness that seemed different from anything she, had known before. Roughly he pushed her from him.

'You're tired, are you?' His voice was so soft that she barely heard it, yet something in the tone sent a tingle down her spine. 'Then go back to bed and try to sleep.' He stood for a space as if gripped by some sort of indecision. And then he left her, returning to his own room, The latch clicked, echoing through the silence of the house ... and Tessa felt the presence of an even greater barrier between her husband and herself, experienced the hopeless sensation of being shut out of his life for ever.